Friends: The Smart-ass

Friends. There be tall ones, short ones, thin ones, fat ones. Then there’s smart ones, dumb ones, the pretty ones, the handsome ones, and maybe the ugly ones. We’ve all had friends for as long as we can remember. So today, I’ll be telling you about my friend(s), the “Smart-ass”.

The Smart-ass tends to be well, “smart and intelligent” around people – especially your other friends that the Smart-ass have yet to meet/get to know. The Smart-ass loves attention. So try not to be offended if some random bullshit/nonsense starts flooding your ears. It’s because that’s what they do. They try to me smart, hence their name – the Smart-ass.

Smart-asses never take comments and criticisms nicely. They are easily butthurt. They will give you an excuse to cover up their flaw. This will almost always lead to an argument. They will will usually put words in your mouth during an argument so it favors them instead. The tip is to always let them win. Never hurt their ego or they will go emo on you for a week at least if you’re lucky. Not so lucky people will have to see the Smart-ass go emo for weeks or months.

Smart-asses bestow on you favors only if they think you’ve earned it from them. On any other normal day, this would mean that they will want something in return. They have this “you owe me, always” mentality and it’s rare to find one who returns the favor although it does happen sometimes.

In a discussion, they will always have something witty to say. They may think it’s witty, however… Let’s just say most of the times, others don’t think so. They are nit-picky and are precise down to the smallest detail. They never hesitate to correct you because it makes them look superior to you, even if it is just for the moment.

Me: “My days have been occupied in writing songs and poetry.”
Smart-ass: “Days? You just started yesterday.”

They do have some good traits though. As a friend, you should know that they’ll be there for you. However when the tough gets going, just be prepared to watch your own back as this “friend” will most probably be long gone. They stick with you in times of minor trials. When the big one comes, don’t expect them to be there. They never will.

Being Smart-asses, they’re gluttons for information. Especially if you’re in a field or you have knowledge that they’re interested in. They’ll look up to you and idol worship you. This is where you get to bitch them around but be careful. They’ll lick your feet for as long as they have to until they learn what they wanna learn. Then they’ll be stepping all over you. Appreciation, zero.

Why are we still friends? Well, as years go by you’ll learn how to handle people like them Smart-asses. Always keep their ego at a high and everything should be fine. If you somehow would like to screw around by pissing a Smart-ass off, know that Smart-asses crave attention. Keep your distance, give them the silent treatment. After they get over their emotional phase, they’re bound to kiss your ass once again just to get on your good side.

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2 responses to “Friends: The Smart-ass

  1. Pingback: Friends: The NEET « Lexxie Writes…·

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