Friends: The NEET

Friends. There be tall ones, short ones, thin ones, fat ones. Then there’s smart ones, dumb ones, the pretty ones, the handsome ones, and maybe the ugly ones. We’ve all had friends for as long as we can remember. So today, I’ll be telling you about my friend(s), the “NEET”.

The NEET (acronym for “Not in Education, Employment or Training”) is a very unique breed of friends. They have a whole lot of “variations” if that’s what you wanna call them. But know that almost every NEET is a complete shut-in. They stay in their small cramped up room everyday, avoiding going outside if possible. They have a so called “allergy to the public”. Something which me and my other friends call “utter bullshit”. Well, at least that explains their “shut-in” attitude. In other words, a hikikomori.

My friend would be classified as the “Otaku NEET” (let’s call it ONEET) variation. They are specifically MALE only. ONEETs have an obsession with vocaloids, nendoroids and anything anime/manga related. Their low self-esteem prevents them from actually going out and find an actual girlfriend which in turn starts to fuels their otaku-ism (if that’s actually an actual term).

ONEETs spend hours gaming when not obsessing over their make-believe loli-girlfriends. On average, an ONEET can clock in about 30 hours in a week on a SINGLE game on Steam. Within the duration of 2 weeks (that’s how Steam calculates game stats), they can be spending time on about 3~5 games average. Take about 30 hours a week, multiply it by 2 and multiplay that average with the amount of games played and you get a complete NO-LIFER. Where these ONEETs get their funding for their gaming collection is a mystery for me. Sometimes I think they have a magical wallet which they pull out magical notes to pay their credit card bills.

ONEETs are particularly stubborn. They never take advice from ANYONE, ever. Trying to put sense into their head is like trying to hammer a toothpick into a steel beam. Though I reckon that hammering that toothpick would be easier. They are also ignorant of the world and happenings. They will shove aside help from friends thinking that those friends are “mocking” him for not having a job.

When ONEETs do actually brave the outdoors to spend some time hanging out with you, they like to discuss about what their dream future is. The tip here is to shut up, nod your head and listen. Try to no hurt an ONEET’s feelings while discussing sensitive topics such as these as their get very emotional very fast. Although their emotional-outrage doesn’t last as long as a Smart-ass, that short burst of emo-ness can really ruin everything.

ONEETs do have some good traits as well. With their “magical wallet” they will buy almost every game they can get their hands on. Just wait for a Steam sale and watch them go shopping-crazy. They’re the best source of “on hand game review” if you happen to be lucky enough to catch their attention. Since they go on a game buying spree, you’d be having a new co-op partner too. Take Left 4 Dead (meat-shield/bait) or maybe Borderlands (meat-shield/bait) or the upcoming Dead Island (meat-shield/bait).

So why are we still friends? Well, let’s just say that having a meat-shield/bait around is pretty handy. Plus, if they kinda suck (Portal 2) you can kick them off and find a more reliable partner. Like any other person on Earth, they too have their one unique set of skills. And during an actual zombie apocalypse, you would want all the friends (meat-shield/bait) you can get.


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