Assholes on the Road – The Old and the Furious

Super Highway Drama

We Malaysians are known for our super hebat driving skills and an even more hebat driving etiquette. The most hebat of this is when we are caught in traffic jams. That’s when all common sense are thrown out of your vehicle’s window. I’m being sarcastic but that’s the sad truth.

The area around the Rothmans crossroad in PJ has been a known hellhole during rush hour in the evenings even more so when it was still a roundabout. Here’s hoping that the upcoming KIDEX Skyway (Kinrara-Damansara Expressway) will somehow ease traffic flow around that area. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about today. Let me tell you a story…

I was heading back from Amcorp Mall after picking up my new pair of glasses. My route back took me through Jalan Semangat. It’s that stretch of road where Jaya 33, Dutch Lady and Quill 9 is. The traffic was already building up from the traffic lights at Rothmans all the way up to Tun Abdul Aziz mosque traffic lights.

There was this brown Proton Saga (the model before the Iswara) coming out of the road junction (Jalan 13/4) that leads to DUMC (Damansara Utama Methodist Church). Immediately without signalling (or seeing), he (according to the silhouette I saw from his back windscreen) cut into my lane. Judging from the look of his car (missing back bumper with the bottom part of his car boot totally dented in) it was clear as day that this guy didn’t seem to give a fuck.

When the traffic lights at the mosque turned green, he (the brown Saga) immediately again cut to the right lane without giving a fuck (no signals) seeing that the lane he was in didn’t seem to be moving due to the jam from Rothmans up ahead.

Somewhere after Quill 9, the Saga again once again switched lanes back into mine. That’s when it happened. A purple Myvi on the left-lane signalled into my lane ahead of the Saga. The Saga, being Mr. Not-Giving-a-Fuck of course didn’t care less that a Myvi was about to cut into his lane.

Quiz time! What happens when a Myvi signals into a lane expecting to be allowed into that lane comes into contact with someone who doesn’t want ANYONE cutting ahead of him? Wait for it…

Instantly – like within seconds upon both cars kissing, the driver of the Myvi popped out of his car (another Mr. Not-Giving-a-Fuck) without a care of the moving cars and motorcycles around him and started hurling words (“words” because I can’t hear what the hell he’s saying over my duet with myself) and hand gestures towards the Saga driver signalling to get out of his car.

With the two lanes beside me not moving since the lights are red, I was stuck behind these two clowns trying to pull off a scene from Grand Theft Auto. The Myvi driver (an Indian guy that looks like he’s in his mid-20’s or early 30’s) is clearly having an anger management problem. He tried (and failed miserably) to pry open the Saga door with his bare hands while motorcycles are lined up behind him. How could they move when you’ve got a guy raging over a door in the middle of the road?

After giving up, he went back into his Myvi only to stop a few meters ahead to get down of his car (in the middle of the road) to check on his UNDAMAGED bumper. Drama much?

When they turned towards Jalan University, I got a glimpse of the Saga driver. He looked like an old man in his mid-60’s. No wonder he didn’t get out of the car. When you’re as old as him and you’ve got this raging demon banging the bonnet of your car, you’d be terrified for your life as well.

As I reached home and parked my car into the driveway, I was staring at my phone mount which was without my phone… “DASHBOARD CAM. DAMN IT!”

So if I happen to witness some drama on the road again, I’ll make sure that my phone is already on my mount and ready to capture the next big Oscar-winning movie.

Remember, drive safe!


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